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10年前
爆笑盘点：外国人辨别中国人的86种方法
1. You look like you are 18.
你看起来好像才18岁。(东方人普遍看起来比较年轻啊)
2. You like to eat chicken feet。
你喜欢吃鸡爪。
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins。
你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍。(他们都是直接切掉的)
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror。
你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设。
5. You sing karaoke。
你唱K。(唐人街才有的玩意儿)
6. Your house is covered with tile。
你的房子铺的是瓷砖。(老外都是木板)
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease。
你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂。(爱炒东西的缘故吧)
8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil。
你的炉子上面有铝箔。
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control。
你的遥控器外包着塑料。
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad。
你从没吻过你父母。
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad。
你从没抱过你父母。
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
你的视觉想象力低于20/500。
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses"。
你戴隐形眼镜，这样才能避免戴你的"瓶底眼镜"。(中国人的眼镜真的都那么厚吗？)
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade。
你五年级开始就戴眼镜了。
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up。
你睡醒后头发会竖起来。
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable。
你会为一些毋庸置疑的事情辩论。
17. You love to use coupons。
你喜欢用折价券。
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol。
你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开着车子到处找。
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space。
你开着车子兜圈为了找到最好的停车位。
20. You take showers at night。
你晚上洗澡。(许多美国人都是早上洗)
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms。
旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room。
你不介意二十个人挤一间汽车旅房。
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male。
如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you。
别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently。
你经常说"哎(二声)呀(四声)"和"哇(四声)"。
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable。
你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and black jack。
你喜欢拉斯维加斯、老虎机和二十一点。(中国人好赌，地球人都知道)
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper。
你细心地打开你的圣诞节礼物，因为你要留着包装纸再用。
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off。
你只会在圣诞节后买圣诞卡，因为打五折。
30. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table。
你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。
31. You spit bones and other foodcraps on the table. That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth。
你把骨头和其他东西都吐在桌子上，所以你必须有抹布。
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time。
你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack。
你把洗碗机当碗橱。
34. You have never used your dishwasher。
你从来没用过你的洗碗机。
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times。
你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen。
你在厨房吃饭。
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers。
你把用过的塑料袋、锡纸和锡盘都留着。
38. You have a piano in your living room。
你客厅里有一架钢琴。
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth)。
你会在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮着嘴。
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers。
你会转笔。
41. You hate to waste food。
你讨厌浪费食物。
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chickenwing。
你冰箱里有三口剩饭或一个鸡翅。
43. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs,take out containers,and jam jars。
你其实从来都不用特百惠，你的碗柜里全是洗干净的黄油盒、外带餐盒和果酱瓶。
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses。
你还把果酱瓶当水杯用。
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel。
你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any carried longer than 15minutes).These snacks are always dried and include dried plums,mango, and squid。
你每次外出十五分钟以上就都会带着你的零食：干李子、干芒果或烤鱿鱼。
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it。
你会洗2-3次米。
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself。
你爸以为自己可以修任何东西。
49. The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys。
你的车子里堆了无数玩偶。
50. You don't use measuring cups。
你不用量杯。
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks。
你用筷子打鸡蛋。
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it。
你有一个有盖的茶杯。
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling information costs 50cents。
你总是在电话簿里找电话号码，因为咨询电话费用为五角。
54. You only make long distance calls after 11 pm。
你只在11点后打长途。
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth。
遇到什么好笑的，如果你是男的就会拍掌大笑，女的就会手捂着嘴咯咯地笑。
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions。
你喜欢没有配过音的中国电影。
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films。
你喜欢中国功夫片。
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts。
你会一些中国武术。
59. Shaolin actually means something to you。
少林对你来说是有含义的。
60. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs。
你喜欢很老的有蛋的粥。
61. You prefer your shrimp with the headsand legs still attached。
你喜欢有头尾的虾。
62. You never call your parents just to say hi。
你从不为了问声好而给你父母打电话。
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight。
如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeethay。
当你病了的时候，你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西，因为“热气”。
(yeethay 粤语发音)
65. You know what yeethay is。
你知道什么是热气。
66. You e-mail your Chinese friend sat work, even though you are only 10 feet apart。
你上班时给你中国朋友发邮件，即使你们只相距10尺。
67. You use a face cloth。
你敷面膜。
68. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places。
你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。
69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics。
你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。
70. You save your Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again。
你留着用过的可乐瓶。
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it。
你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin。
你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。
73. You know what moon cakes are。
你知道什么是月饼。
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper,you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult who has moved out。
当厕纸降价时，你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles。
你的父母懂得如何用力擤鼻涕。
76. You iron your own shirts。
你自己烫衣服。
77. You play a musical instrument。
你会弹奏一种乐器。
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them。
即使你饱了，当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle。
你吃过红豆冰棍。
80. You bring oranges with you as a gift when you visit people's homes。
你拜访别人时会带着橘子。
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill。
你在餐后抢着付账单。
82. You major in something practical like engineering, medicine or law。
你的主科是实用型的，工程学、机械或法律。
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood。
你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样，或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了，但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys。
你不会给超过10%的小费，即使有也是给中国服务员。
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon。
你爱好吃苦瓜。
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table。
你吃光碗里的最后一粒米，但不吃盘里的最后一口菜。
温哥华天空
8年前
